98. Lunch with The Toolman and The Swingers

We had been talking to a couple for a few months on the swingers website and finally decided to move forward with a meeting. They insisted on a drinks date before any kind of hook up in order to establish if the flirty chemistry of our chats would translate to real life.

We arranged a Saturday pub lunch at a suburb central for all of us, and as I got ready I realised I was a bit nervous.  This was a date of sorts and not only with the other couple but for The Toolman and I.  We were still only spending a few hours together in bed each week and, while I retained hope we would move forward, The Toolman was still too busy for me.

The night before I had been to an art show at a Fetish Club.  It was exciting and fascinating and I had met some lovely people.  It occurred to me as I viewed the erotic images of women dominating men that perhaps I wasn’t done with the role playing of domination yet.  Lately when The Toolman and I were together he was taking the dominant role naturally, and while I sometimes needed the sweet release of submission, I was still more excited by dominating a man than submitting to one.  The submission was visceral, fearful and required all of my trust and it pushed me hard outside my comfort zone.

At any rate I thought the art show would provide an interesting topic of conversation for the date with the couple.

I drove to the pub in the warm winter sun, and when I arrived it seemed I was the first one there.  I checked my phone and there were messages from The Toolman and also the couple letting me know they would be a little late.

I texted them all back to let them know I was at the pub and had selected a table in the back where we could talk without being overheard.

“Are you inside already?” The Toolman texted.

I confirmed that I was and asked what I was supposed to do.  Was I meant to have waited in the street for him?

“Yes!” He responded angrily.  “We should be walking in as a couple!”

I’ve been an independent woman all my life and the idea of standing out in the street waiting for the rest of my lunch party to arrive didn’t make sense to me.  Of course I was going to go inside, out of the cold, find a seat and make myself comfortable.

The Toolman continued to argue with me via text.  He was telling me not to talk about him until he arrived, and I had to make sure I filled him in on everything that was said in his absence.  His attitude was jarring and I wanted to leave.  I told him he might want to cheer up before he arrived.

“Maybe I won’t come then.” He replied.

Oh for fucks sake.  I was ready to get up and leave when the couple walked in.  I sent him a quick text to let him know they were there and put my phone away.

They looked like their pictures and we hugged each other warmly.  The woman sat down while her husband went and ordered drinks.

The woman and I talked about their drive to the pub, their children and the area around our lunch locale.  It was the usual small talk you make with strangers, but they were warm and friendly so I felt quite relaxed.

Before long The Toolman arrived.  He said hello and I stood to hug him.  I wasn’t going to let these people know about our fight, or ruin our lunch.  The Toolman smiled sheepishly at me and kissed me before greeting the couple and taking a seat next to me.


Lunch was just a normal lunch.  Just like you would have with any new acquaintances.  We discussed work, hobbies, sport and their experiences on the website.  Looking back now, it was fine, but there wasn’t any particular chemistry.  I could feel each of us in turn checking one of the other people out and imagining sex with them and whether that would be something fun.  Neither of them excited me, in fact they may have been a bit ordinary.  Perhaps that was the problem;  they reminded me of my friends with kids.

I told them about the art show and it opened the conversation to more taboo topics like shibari, swingers parties and the venues around town we had been to or would like to visit.

“I’ve heard of that place,” the woman said after we mentioned the venue we had visited with Mr & Mrs Playful.  She turned to her husband and asked,

“Is that the one Mr and Mrs Playful go to?”

The Toolman and I waited a beat before slipping each other a look.  Instantly I knew it was unlikely we would hook up with these people.  I had told Mrs Playful about the blog and she had read some part of it.  I didn’t know if she read the whole section about her and her husband, but The Toolman seemed to think if she had we wouldn’t be hearing from them again.

I didn’t agree with The Toolman but he assured me of the fragility of the male ego and said there were some things I wrote he wouldn’t like to read about himself if he was Mr Playful.  I didn’t think I had written anything bad, just how I had felt in the moment.

Anyway, this couple liked to be friends with the people they fucked, so there was a chance if they were close  with Mr & Mrs Playful they may have heard of the blog.

We finished lunch and parted ways.  I knew the couple would discuss us on their way home and I didn’t want The Toolman to leave without us doing the same.  He agreed to come for a drive with me and we went and parked in a secluded street.

We addressed the texts we had sent that morning before lunch and explained our points of view.  He was stressed and snappy because he didn’t like being late.  We talked it out and apologised to each other.  The Toolman’s lack of time for me had been playing on my mind.  I now knew I wanted to see him more and the issue of sleep overs was driving me crazy.  It wasn’t about the sharing a bed.  For me it was about his unwillingness to get close to me.  To be vulnerable to caring for me and maybe, someday, love.

And I told him so.  He repeated his usual mantra of not having enough time for me, so once again, neither of us gave an inch and then he kissed me.  It all vaporises when he kisses me. I feel the passion and it tells me he does care.  It tells me he wants me and can’t get enough of me.

When are his lips lying?  When he kisses me with that heat, or when he tells me he doesn’t want to get too close to me?

We made out in the car, hands wandering over each other’s clothes until we reached a feverish level of frustration which could only be quenched one way.  But it was broad daylight in a busy town with eyes everywhere.  There is no way we could fuck unseen.

The Toolman got out and limped to his car under the weight of his pulsating erection.

So frustrated I could have cried, I drove home alone.

A few days later the couple texted us and said they weren’t interested in sex with us as they hadn’t felt any chemistry.  I messaged back that I felt the same, but had enjoyed meeting them and wished them well, before deleting them from my phone.

Later that night I got a message from the couple, tentatively telling me that I should know The Toolman hadn’t reacted quite so nicely to their message and had been quite agressive, upsetting the wife and accusing them of gossiping about us on the website.  I wasn’t sure if they were trying to cause a rift between me and The Toolman, or were genuinely concerned for me.

I asked The Toolman what he had said to them and he denied being at all agressive.  He told me he had replied in much the same way I had, saying it was nice to meet and wishing them well.

The Toolman did tell me he had visited the website chat rooms at the same time as them that day.  Perhaps something was said then, but he couldn’t tell me what may have offended them.  He sent them an apology text which they accepted and then communicated to me.  The case was closed but this experience reminded me The Toolman could be volatile. And I might need to remember that.

2 thoughts on “98. Lunch with The Toolman and The Swingers

  1. PLEASE Get rid of Toolman!! 😡😡😡 such a fucking control freak and a god damn baby. You’re your own woman. If he wanted you guys to walk in as a couple he should have 1) said something and 2) not of been late. Ugh. He’s using you to get his rocks off and leave. Only has time for you when he wants to get off it seems. Ugh. I don’t think he’s good for you, too controlling for my liking.

    • Hi Vegas. I appreciate your passion for my story and your heartfelt comments. I know things with The Toolman can be difficult, and sometimes he makes me mad and confused. But The Toolman also makes me feel like I’ve never felt before. There is more to come in our story.
      P.S: All men are babies.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s